I was born into a Christian home where the basic principles for godly living are taught daily at our family altar.
My parents brought I and my siblings up in the way of the Lord and we all have wonderful relationship with Christ.
I have been a born again child of God ever before I thought of going to the higher institution, a member of the choir and am not proud to say that I am very lovely and friendly.
I met a brother in my year 1 in the university. A born again brother and very committed to the things of God. He was loved by everyone including me: I love him very much.
Just few Months after our first meeting at the school fellowship; we became two jolly friends. We visited each other regularly, we check on each other welfare, attend Programs and seminar, go to the fellowship together, and I do really enjoy being with this brother
Sometimes I would deliberately cook for him to give him the king’s treat. He is such an handsome brother! He would smile at me as he graciously devour the delicacy with great relish.
Most of our friends do admire us together calling us love in Tokyo but we would both smile about such comment.
We do profess love to each other like I care about you, you mean a lot to me, I love you dearly, etc
In my heart of heart I began to feel good and excited that he loves me. While all this is going on I couldn’t think of any other brother nor did I ever think of starting a relationship with any man.
Our relationship went on for Months, from Months to years.
One incident happened during our final year in school.
We all have concluded our exams and the excitement in the air was very hilarious.
With all joy; I ran to this brother’s hostel to jubilate over our success and graduation. He was happy to see me! We gisted and laughed, I never wished for such a moment to end
Few days after our final exam, I got a call from this “brother of my affection”; he asked me to see him in his house after the thanksgiving service fixed for the evening at our fellowship center.
Hmmm the day I will never forget in my life!
I was full of beautiful thoughts. I tried imagining things…why did he want to see me! Is he finally going to propose marriage to me? Wow! I can’t wait to hear him say “Will you marry me?” to me.
Jesus! What? Oh my God!
I wept bitterly! I mean I have never been so sad all my life!
I entered his room with joy radiating all over my face…we exchanged pleasantries and I sat close by his side full of expectation. After a long silence that made me feel my heart was creeping into my throat; he looked into my eyes and said to me in a straight face while handing a card to me: “I want to invite you for my wedding: here is my wedding card”
I collected the card and left for my hostel with tears.
Dear readers, hmmm I couldn’t stop crying! I thought it was a bomb blast! I sat down gently and broke down into tears! He looked away! A part of him remorseful and confused while another part of his face looked wicked and determined!
I walked out of his room with tears flowing down my face.
I got thinking seriously.
Why did he treat me like this? Why did he choose another lady for marriage instead of me? Why didn’t he marry me? Hmmm I reasoned again…could it be that I am not his kind of woman? Hell no! He told me I am all he needs in a wife. Could it be that he didn’t love me? Ooh no! He did tell me he loves me.
Why can’t he marry me after all the wonderful moment we had together and I wondered why he ever kept me with no serious intention!
I shared my time, cash and shower my affection on him.
I waited in vain! I waited all these years thinking he didn’t want to rush things, I thought he was waiting for the right time (our graduating year) before proposing to me.
Why? Why did you give me all that emotional support? Why did you keep mute and only enjoy all the emotional support I was giving you when you already know you didn’t need me for a relationship? Why did you keep expressing love to me when we are together and on phone? If you never need me why didn’t you say so when our friendship became romantic? Fine! We didn’t have sex and you didn’t propose a relationship to me directly but why all the love and romantic moments we had?
I was greatly disturbed! But dear reader, I have gotten over it. Here is my husband your pastor..he is a gift to me! I got over my pain! I have myself to blame for those wasted years with a brother who didn’t propose a relationship to me but got me emotionally entangled!
Dear readers, such is the case with some of you. Define Your relationship with the opposite sex! Brothers, I call it emotional blunder when you keep a lady for no reason!
You frequently call her even at night, text her every seconds, call her pet names, professing love to her at every available opportunity, yet you tell yourself “she is just a friend..I don’t need her” if you want to be JUST A FRIEND please tell her and LET IT BE!
Don’t use her for emotional support to fill a vacuum in your life!

Ladies I pity you ooo. Some of you will keep waiting and even justify the brother you are emotionally attached to: “he is shy” uhn? forget it! I know one sure thing about matured men “Every man is a goal getter; if he wants a thing he will surely go for it”
If he wants you, he will come for you!
If he can’t propose directly he should send a text, phone call, voice calls, love card, an intermediary…etc
Please stop this emotional blunder!
Define your relationship!

Author: Esther Ebunoluwa Omoniyi



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